Check back soon
Once posts are published, you’ll see them here.
I can remember the feeling I had when I woke up on a sunny summer day. The birds were singing and traffic was moving, but I was not. I woke up missing him. I woke up feeling rejected. I woke up feeling heart broken. That hope I had carried with me had finally dissipated and this was it. This was my one SOLID moment where something had moved on and clarity came through.
Sometimes our perception of life and the events surrounding it can really cloud our thinking. I remember even standing in front of him in the kitchen stating that my heart was breaking as I was confused as to where his heart even was. With the help of some Star Wars and the lead female Rey I opened the blinds and began the day. Even if it was 2pm in the afternoon. I will always be on the light side, and I'm always with The Resistance.
When we are perceiving the feeling of rejection or the feeling of a broken heart we majority of the time go to a solemn place. Something didn't work out, or something didn't manifest the way we actually wanted to. However, when I finally got clear with myself on the love that I really wanted, and the love I had been given I had realized that in order for me to truly be open to that relationship I had been craving that I needed to make some room.
When our heart feels broken I believe we feel it for what it is. It is broken, but it's actually broken open. Maybe it gives you a chance to really allow real love to enter your life as you become who you've always wanted to be and love yourself enough to believe you are worthy and deserving of it. Full potential and all. Or maybe it breaks open so you can finally let something out. Something that's been hiding there for a long time.
I currently work with children, and I actually see myself as a child advocate in many ways. I also see a lot of adults whose inner child is having a tantrum all over the place. Micheal A. Singer describes it best in the Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, as thorns that have been placed within us that we dare not touch. Energetic thorns that we build our whole lives around so we don't have to touch them. Most of these thorns I believe are created in our innocent childhoods. We look up to the people who have given us life, and we look to them to be our examples. I have seen in so many who have taken their whole lives, and given it away to the child shaken in disbelief, hurt, fear and anger. Who have given it away to those small seemingly insignificant moments that they dare not talk about, and they dare not talk about them because it's a thorn. It's something that hurts, and it's something that makes us feel vulnerable. It's also where our deepest transformation occurs.
When our hearts are broken I believe they are broken open. It's a rare moment that occurs where we have an opportunity to make some deep changes within us. They are moments where we can reach into our depths and ask ourselves, " What is looking to emerge? ", or " What is this triggering in me? ". For myself I felt a deep fear that I was unlovable. That I could do everything I could and it would still never be enough. It wasn't the relationship that needed the attention, it was that deep subconscious fear that had finally come to the surface. I truly believed that I was unlovable. Had it not been for my heartbreak, I'm not sure that fear would have came through.
When we learn to really trust our beautiful intuition we can accelerate the process. I felt this heartbreak come on for close to 5 out of 7.5 years, but I didn't want to " lean into it " as Brene Brown would say. I could feel the rumble within that something wasn't quite right, and I chose to continue on and find another avenue to walk. More often then not it eventually catches back up. That feeling of heartbreak. I would encourage you to start shifting your perception. If you are feeling heartbreak, then you are starting to break open. Your strengths are wanting to come through, and so is your authentic self. The person who loves ALL of who they are, even those pesky thorns, but who now plucks them from your personality and loves them, for they have made you who you are.
My tenacity, grit, love, leadership, faith, awareness, spirituality, compassion and more have all come from my thorns. Had I not had those experiences I wouldn't have had the lesson. Had I not had the lesson, I wouldn't have learned the skill. Your natural skills are there. Sometimes it's even those parts that you hate about you, but can make you so relatable to someone else. Those parts where you wonder " What was it all for? " then you meet someone who could use your story to assist in their healing. The parts of you that you hate the most, become the parts of you that you love the most.
That is my wish for you. To take those thorns and begin to pull them out one by one. To see them from a higher perspective, and not from a place of anger, hate or hurt but from a place of trust and understanding. From a place of love for yourself. Your thorn may even teach you that you haven't allowed love into your life because you are scared to loose it. If you are scared to loose it then why would you even try? If you aren't even trying, are you suprised of your result? Maybe you feel angry that a parent wasn't there for you, but that's why you try so hard as a parent. You know first hand what it's like so you give everything you have to your children, so much so it exhausts you and you give everything you have. You soon realize that you are a great parent, all because of the thorn in your side, but you can now find a balance. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, just be at peace with yourself.
Spirituality to me is that we are all interconnected. We are all experiencing in our own ways so we can assist others on their journey here. So we can transcend the limitations that we place upon ourselves. In order for us to do that we need some role models, people who help us believe it's possible. I also believe it's about following the truth within you. Following your pull. The pull towards something else. For me it was a greater love and understanding, not just with another person but mostly with myself. I will refer to the 4 tips that I have around me at all times, at home and at work that were birthed from my March 24, 2018 Firewalk.
How do you create a GREAT life?
1. Follow your PASSIONS.
2. Stay TRUE to yourself.
3. LOVE yourself unconditionally.
4. TRUST that something greater is working WITH you.
I see it every morning, afternoon, and evening and it encourages me to stay the course. The moments when I feel my heart breaking will now be the moments I allow it to break open for something else. Something else to come in, and something else to go out.
Wishing you all the love in the world, prosperity, and hope you may need to carry on in this beautiful wonderful life <3
Stacy.